We just got a letter from Paramount Pictures and our internet company saying that we were illegally file-sharing the third Transformers movie and that if it happens again, they'll shut down our internet account. They obviously didn't read this post about how much I hated the second Transformers movie so they didn't know that I have not, nor will I ever, watch the third one. I think I'm turning into my mom because I immediately thought, "I need to write them a LETTER!" as if that is super threatening. I (pretending to be Jason) wrote the following letter to Paramount to make them aware of their obvious error.
I received a letter saying from you and my internet service provider (Digis) that there was illegal file sharing of "Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon" on September 26, 2011. The IP address given was XXXXXX and the notice ID from you is XXXXXX. Digis was installed in my home on October 10, 2011, so it could not have been one of my computers or any member of my household illegally "sharing files". We have had our router password-protected since it was first installed to ensure that these things don't happen. Digis suggested we change our password to make sure this doesn't happen again. Could it have been someone in our neighborhood that was pirating movies and we have just been wrongly accused? I would like to clear my name so I can continue to be an upstanding internet user. I can ensure you that my wife, my two-month-old daughter, nor I would ever pirate movies. If I WERE pirating movies (which I am not), it wouldn't be a dumb movie like Transformers.
Take THAT, Hollywood.
6 comments:
Emily, you crack me up! Thank you for this post. :)
Write them a letter! That's Grandma Donna too, you know. No joke: when I was visiting in Arizona last winter, Grandma had written a letter to Macy's furniture because she didn't want to pay the delivery charge or something and her typed letter went a line or two onto a second page, so Grandma printed the one page and hand wrote the rest of it so she didn't have to use TWO pieces of paper. Haha, I thought that was so funny. Thrifty bag saving, foil reusing, paper saving Grandma Donna. I didn't tell her she could just change the margins because I didn't want her head to explode.
Love ya, Emmy! Your baby is adorable.
wow! very well written.
amen.
oh, it is so fun when you don't work and you have time/energy to post funny stuff all the time.
i am in love with this letter. in fact, i would include more derogatory remarks about transformers to the tune of "my husband and I prefer movies with actual plots" and "the only thing about transformers I enjoy is that kia commercial where the gerbils join the transformers in dancing to party rock anthem."
as an aside, my brother and sister in law get a letter like this from qwest once every couple of months. hollow threat.
Thanks for not accusing us outright, but with a house full of boys, it's pretty obvious who was doing the vicarious pirating. Sorry to make you a criminal.
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