But then I realized that there are 10 simple steps to follow to make an award winning Pinewood Derby car in less than three hours. Note: all steps must be completed by a grown-up unless otherwise indicated that the child may help.Step 1: Find a man or any grown-up that has tools and knows how to use them.
Step 2: Clamp your block of wood and start sawing it with a giant pizza slicer. Cats are not required to supervise. 
Step 3: Sand down the block of wood after it has been sliced to desired size and shape. The child is allowed to help with this step.
Step 4: Use another pizza slicer, only smaller, to make little slits in the bottom of the car.
Step 5: Hollow out those slits with a chisel to make a space to fill with lead to make the car heavier and faster.
Step 6: With a blowtorch, melt lead and drip into the hollowed out space. This part is cool because you turn solid metal into a liquid, and then back into a solid. 
Step 7: Smooth out the bumpy parts of the lead with a soldering iron. "The Soldering Iron of Justice" is not required, any soldering iron will do.
Step 8: Paint wood. Admire. The child is allowed to complete this step.
Step 9: Sand down tires so that they grip the track. And when I say tires, I mean little plastic wheels. Align them so they all rest on the ground. Put graphite in the wheels to decrease friction with the axles. 
Step 10: Give your car an appropriate name. Mine was named Roy, because Roy Rules. 
And just like that, in less than three hours, you have a Pinewood Derby car! I thought Roy turned out pretty well. Jason did an awesome job at being the grown-up for the first time and not the child, and I did pretty good at being his child. (I didn't mean that to sound awkward.) 
If you can't tell, Jason went for the "stealth bomber" look. But exactly how "stealth" was Roy? Find out in our next installment of Pinewood Derby: The Race.
9 comments:
WOW!How fun! I love how you kept referring to "the giant pizza slicer"
that sounds way hard. i'm impressed.
Hi Emily-
Sorry I deleted my first comment, but after reading it again it sounded really stupid. Anway, thanks for pointing out how popular I am - it's really like a dream come true. I love your post by the way. It's hilarious, especially the part about the cat. You're so funny.
ROY RULES!!!!
Step 1: Cut a hole in the box.....
Jason, you're dirty. Em, that car is amazing!!!! where did you get all of those tools! maybe we'll hire you out for our kid. :o)
What Anne, you don't have a blowtorch lying around?
Where's the next installment? Did you win? How dare you keep us all on the edge, just waiting for your next entry!
Nice little carrito. You forgot to mention that Jason did all the work, minus one step. The photos are proof. When are you going to move out of Helen's house? SHould I ask her if you can stay there when she moves back in? p.s. stop coming home at 1:30 in the morning every day. You're killing me.
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